MECA USA: When we refuse to reconcile and destroy our development efforts.

According to the Wikipedia, reconciliation means settlement, resolution, compromise, bringing together. In reconciliation, we take into consideration, what caused the rift, repenting, forgiving and finding ways to repair the damage (recompense). We also try to let go of what cannot be repaired. Contrary to what some in our community may belief, reconciliation can take place between one’s self, groups or parties. It does not necessarily force two parties on the same table if the other is unwilling. Some of the issues that warrant a person or persons to reconcile may be; building walls instead of bridges, treating those who spread views other than their own as demons, finding ways to excuse a behavior and trying to see themselves in the exception to the law and moral rules that help a community together. To make up to reconciliation, we must therefore act as far as it is practical to undo the damage caused, listen to the spirit, learn to be just plain with each other, and celebrate what is common.

One of the things that is so hard for a community like ours to do is come to grips with the things it has done wrong. We try to make excuses “saying it was the best choice or decision we had to make at the time”. This is never enough to justify our actions. There is no reconciliation without responsibility. The bible says there is a time between what we know and what we are responsible for. There is also a bond between what we know and should be responsible to do. There is no excuse for deliberate or benign ignorance and continuous spreading and promoting hate, rumor, and lies even on the eve of a reconciliation process. History teaches us, it is easy to plead ignorance but hard to believe we are ignorant because the truth is out there and will be known.

For some people in our Manyu community in the USA, reconciliation does not come easy and never will. The reason is because it has become a psychological and personal struggle after causing much pain to individuals for a long time in order to settle deep rooted grievances. A lot of suffering has been caused and everyday fresh wounds are open and new walls built. Although no one has the duty to bear other peoples shortcomings, everyone has the responsibility to own up to their wrongs. When one causes damage and divides a community, our chosen leaders speaking on the community behalf have a responsibility to stop the hurt. These leaders have a moral obligation to call upon us to fess up, desist from our wrongs and take action to right the wrongs we have done. Leaders who stay silent and do not speak up ultimately must be held accountable for the actions of their subjects as we see it today in MECA USA.

Reconciliation is indeed hard work and if one party fails to take part and expect positive results, then it has failed to create true synergy for building its community. Be it in marriages or divorces or conflicts, people always up the ante and that can never create a solution to a problem. The deeper the anger gets, the less we seem to get out of it and become more hollow and seem justified to hold on to our bitterness and anger. It is just not enough to say enough if the engines of the fire and venom and hate are not destroyed. For a community like MECA USA, anger, hatred, vengeance and bitterness have all become the reality of the world we choose to live and hold back development gains. These ills are there because we choose to hold on to illusions and lies about how evil others are, how just our cause is, how our side is better than the other.

But if we fail to come to the reconciliation table in order to set the record straight, help strip our lies and build a new foundation for our community, then we should have no reason to complain when others make that decision for us. The decision made by others may affect us and we may just have to live with it. Only a process of reconciliation would have dismantled the engine and cut off the smoke. In this process, some failed the Manyu community and for many years slowed the development engine in ways they may never come to realize. History will be our teacher and with about a 40 page proceedings soon to be released from the Atlanta conference, there will be plenty to reflect on. For one thing, MECA USA belongs to the people and in Atlanta on October 10, 2009, the "PEOPLE made some far reaching decisions".

Simon Etta
Baltimore, MD